1. |
Fleabit
04:21
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We found you in the basement Of the sanctuary cowering,
fleabit and already adept at commanding sympathy.
You chewed through the cardboard gate we made
Each scratch at the door would say
“I don’t want to sleep alone.”
So you never had to sleep alone.
I was so afraid I couldn’t give you Everything you needed in a home.
But we give each other all we have,
And I can’t help but think, with you at the foot of my bed:
How can I say I love you if I treat you like a thing?
How can I say I love you if it’s just words through smiling teeth?
If, with my eyes and mind I ignore
Those like you, but for a false dichotomy.
You are the reason I can see.
Your muzzle’s turned to grey And you’ve got a limp in your gait.
A heart murmur and a couple scars Across your smiling face.
And I can see your bright mind
Flash across those bright eyes.
Sentience need not be sapience
For suffering to be
Made manifest in any being
Capable of empathy.
I couldn't look into your eyes
If I insisted on closing mine.
How can I say I love you if I treat you like a thing?
How can I say I love you if the words pass over blood-stained teeth?
The better with which to rend
Those like you, but for a false dichotomy.
You are the reason I can see.
How much cognition is too much?
How much pain can we ignore?
God knows I'll play the martyr.
All indulgences forsworn.
My bathroom floor is littered
with the scales that have fallen
From these eyes,
And I’d like to look into the mirror and not see someone I despise.
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2. |
Even The Stars
04:24
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My grandmother gave me a coat that my grandfather owned.
He never wore it. He got too sick.
When it's cold now, it keeps me warm.
I keep his pocketknife beside my right hand,
and I use it whenever I can.
His mark on this town will never leave my bones.
Even the stars will die.
I wasn't ready to let you go.
Even the stars will die,
but their light still shines to lead us home.
Sometimes, at night, when she falls asleep beside me,
I look at her tightly closed eyes, and I don't say a thing.
We share this same hurt,
but it hits her the worst.
When I cry, I hide my tears from her,
because when she smiles, I don't want to change a thing.
Even the stars will die.
I wasn't ready to let you go.
Even the stars will die,
but their light still shines to lead us home.
My mother is sitting beside the bed
of one of her oldest and dearest of friends.
She fought the good fight, and now it's her time.
I don't think I have it in me.
It'd kill me if this happens again.
I'm breaking down at sitcoms and losing my friends.
And I tell myself the same tired thing:
That it hurts because to know them was such a blessing.
Even the stars will die.
I wasn't ready to let you go.
Even the stars will die,
but their light still shines to lead us home.
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3. |
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I’m so worried that I love you ‘cause I fear death.
I’m so worried that I love you ‘cause I fear death.
I’m so worried that I love you ‘cause I fear death.
I’m so worried, and I’m fearful, and yet…
I’m so worried that I love you ‘cause we die.
I’m so worried that I love you ‘cause we die.
I’m so afraid that I rush headlong through life.
I’m worried, but I’ll love you ‘til we die.
When the last burst of blood rush through these veins,
When the last burst of blood rush through these veins,
And my last words on a last breath, an empty silence, leaves,
I’m so worried about the last thing I see.
Your face, I pray, is the last thing I see.
That’s why I worry and I sing.
See, that’s why I worry and I sing.
That that worry could be the most important thing to me,
But I’ve gotta know it doesn’t mean a thing.
I’m so worried that you’ll die before I do.
I’m so awfully worried that you’ll die before I do.
But I’m terrified that I might before you
Oh, what’s a worried boi to do?
I’m worried, and I’m thankful for this.
I’m worried, and I’m thankful for it.
I’m worried that I fear dying because I love you to death.
I’m worried, and I’m thankful we met.
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J. Douglass & The Sullen Hearts Chicago, Illinois
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